oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
