He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
