Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you would pick up someone in the library
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
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i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
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no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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