If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
