We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
