Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
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