God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i was born a porn star she said
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
