Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
