What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
