The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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