I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
