Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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