no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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