Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
