well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
