I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
