you're like a bully in the Christmas story
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
