i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
