Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
