Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize