Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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