I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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