glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
