Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
