so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
