I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
