I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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