So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
