Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
