Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
