If that was your dad, he is hot
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize