What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
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