so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
