i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I want her autograph on my taint
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
