Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
