Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
