If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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