what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
