I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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