So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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