After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize