he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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