I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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