I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
