so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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