I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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