We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
