She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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