a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
