Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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