Swine flu. Run for my life!
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
