WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
