the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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