if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
