SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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