he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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