Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
