how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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