i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
