I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
