If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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