I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just pee around me
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
