im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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